Diary of a Big Butt Housewife

Oh Doctor Please!

2007-11-27T15:03:00.000-08:00

Some of you may have received a private message from me on yahoo messenger today. As promised, I'm here to show you why I visited the hospital this morning. For well over a year I've been on blood pressure medication. In that period of time, I've tried 3 different medications. All of which had serious side effects. To be honest, I don't know that I really have high blood pressure or not. But I do know that I have "White Coat Syndrome." That means, whenever I go to the doctor, dentist or other health professional, my blood pressure rises. But what I've discoved is that when I get horny, my blood pressure alsp rises. Do you think that could mean I get horny while in the medical environment?

The wired device I'm wearing is called a Holter Monitor. It's really just a minature version of an EKG monitor. For the next 24 hours I'll be wired to monitor my heart. Then tomorrow morning I am having an echo cardiogram. That is similar to a sonogram or a video version of an x-ray of my heart. This is all in effort to rule out any possible problems with my heart. I'm positive the only thing they will find is that I'm just a housewife that get's horny when she goes to the doctor. LOL

Wanna bend me over and probe me with your thermometer?

Mardi Bra
A Big Butt Horny Housewife

Sticky Mess in our Bed

2007-09-30T15:47:00.000-07:00

I have a funny, yet true story to tell you. Just last night I made the stickest mess in our bed ever. It compares to nothing in the past. We just had an evening of hot and kinky sex. Well you know how sometimes you get the after sex muchies? Both my hubby and I got the muchies for something. So we put on our robes and wandered into the kitchen looking for a late night snack. Mind you I've not made anything for desert in a week and it's time to go grocery shopping. So there's not a lot to choose from.

My hubby's old standby is anykind of breakfast ceral. Me I like things more on the salty side, go figure. (dick licking grin) But there's not much in the way of food to eat that's salty either. Then I remeber the new Special K ceral I bought with chocolaty bites. I pour myself a bowl of the cereal and cover it with creamy whole milk. You know how much I love it creamy. (wink wink) Anyways, I take my cereal back into the bedroom to join my husband. That's right, I'm sitting in bed naked, eating cereal.

To read the rest of my true story and see the full size photos, please come join me.

Wet and sticky thoughts,

Mardi Bra
A Big Butt Horny Housewife

Big Butt Naked & Wet

2007-09-22T12:55:00.000-07:00

It was about 7:00 p.m. yesterday when a storm rolled through the Las Vegas valley. The rain was fairly light, but it continured for most of the evening and into the morning hours. The sky was filled an aray of bright blasts of light as bolts of lightning hit the groud. Power outages caused the lamps to flicker. There was even a moment while taking a shower that scared the pants right off of me. Well, maybe not literally speaking because I was already wet and naked.

If you would like to read more about my true life naughty adventure and get my full site photos. Come join me.

Mardi Bra
A Big Butt Horny Housewife

Artists Wanted

2007-07-17T14:19:00.000-07:00

My website includes and erotic art gallery. Most of which are my own original dirty works of art. I do have a few friends that have contributed. I'd like to continue to feature other artists as well.

Your artwork needs to feature me. Full color sketches, charcoal, oil pastels, watercolor, pen and ink or acrylics would be acceptable. Some computer art may be accepted, but you may not use a photo of me to render your art. It must be a totally original design.

Pin-up, realism, cartoon, pop art, caricature are the styles I'm looking for. This is not a paid job. But I can offer you free membership to my website, phone or webcam fun and more.

If this sounds like something that might interest you, please be ready to show me samples of your work.

Contact me driectly via email. Click to email me.

My butt is so big . . .

2007-05-09T06:49:00.000-07:00

I only wish this was one of those jokes that went, "her butt was so big." Then you reply with, "how big was it." The truth is that just the other morning during my morning ritual on the porcelain throne. When all of a sudden I heard a loud pop. Then my big bare butt shifted to the right, nearly landing me on the floor.

You see, my butt is so big that I snapped the toilet seat in half.

To read my true adventure in it's entirity and view all 6 full size photos too naughty show you here, click to join my private club.

Mardi Bra
A Big Butt Horny Housewife

Don Imus, racist?

2007-04-09T16:20:00.001-07:00

I had never heard of this so called radio/tv personality until today while watching CNN at lunchtime. I nearly choked on my bowl of leftover spaghetti when I heard the report. Don Imus of "Imus in the Morning" a program on MSNBC and the radio was pathetically apologising for his comments about the Rutgers Women's Basketball team. He called them quote "Nappy Headed Hos" unquote. The basketball team refused his appology. Can you blame them, I don't. What the hell? Did that man's brain just fall out of his head? I think not! He's simply a racist pig!

To see the video clip yourself go to: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RF9BjB7Bzr0
To see his appology on go to: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/18022596/

Rev. Al Sharpton says he will accept Imus' apology in exchange for his resignation. Sharpton intends on delivering a complaint to the Federal Communications Commission (FCC) on the matter. If you would like to voice your thoughts with the FCC, their website and contact info can be found here.
http://www.fcc.gov/contacts.html

Mardi Bra
A Big Butt Horny Housewife

Happy Valentine's Day

2007-02-14T10:50:00.000-08:00

You may have read that I'd be away this week recovering from eye suregery. But, somehow I came down with a head cold and a fever. Most likely I picked up that damn cold at the hospital while doing all those pre-op tests. As a precautionary measure, my doctor will not do surgery with a fever. Lucky me, I've been rescheduled to March (what a perfect way to celebrate my birthday).

But now,at we least get to celebrate Valentine's Day together this year.

I'm wearing nothing but a pair of tight red athletic pants. No panties, no bra and no shoes. Lunch is already made and I'm waitng in the bedroom. Would you be my Valentine and stuff all my wet holes?

I'd love to hear your comments. Nothing special is required to post a comment and your privacy is protected.

Kiss my big butt with love,

Mardi Bra
A Big Butt Horny Housewife

Tiny T-shirt

2007-01-21T14:53:00.000-08:00

Yesterday my husband asked me if we had any soft clean rags. My first thought was, what for? Well, he said that he wants to wax the car, but would like me to help him with the washing. Of course I was willing to help out, you know how I love domestic household chores. (ha ha ha)

In the linen closet there were no rags. I just remebered that I cleaned out the linen closet last month and got rid of fraying towels and stained rags. "Maybe we have something in the bedroom we can use, I'll go look" I said. The first place I looked was in Shane's drawers. There I found some promotional t-shirts a friend had given him. So he wouldn't have to mess with all those holes, I cut his white t-shirts in half just below the arm pits. This left a nice square rag perfect for waxing.

Now I'm left with nothing but a few tiny t-shirts, they looked so funny. I had to giggle. My dirty mind said, Mardi take off all your clothes and put on that tiny shirt. So I did just that, and called my hubby Shane into the bedroom to come get his rags. There I was on all fours, bareass naked on the bed with my boobies hanging out the bottom of my new tiny t-shirt.

Did you see the look of surprise on my face? I was surprised because in hubby's right hand was the camera and the other was his throbbing boner. Needless to say, we didn't get the car cleaned yesterday. But I did a lot of polishing.

Cum n' get me while you can!

2006-12-08T09:17:00.000-08:00

Can you believe it, 2006 is nearly over? I can't! To make room for my new pics and video clips, I'll be cleaning house around my big butt Ass4Days. That means after the first of the year, all my hoilday photos and video clips will disapper. So, if you've not downloaded my Easter Bunny bouncing bubble butt, Halloween skeleton fucking, or any of my other holiday photo and video sets, you'de better cum get them now while you still can.

Be sure to check out my diary tomorrow so you can see me in a new pair of black fishet pantyhose.

Hugs, kisses and lots of licks,

Mardi Bra
A Big Butt Horny Housewife

Too Tight Pants

2006-11-28T07:00:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I went for a power walk all the way to the Mall. I thought this would be a fun way to get exercize and pick-up a few stocking stuffers for Christmas. Then there's the added bonus of being able to show off my big round butt poured into a new pair skin tight pants. You see, my hubby bought the pants for me so I didn't get to try them on first. They're charcoal grey in color with hot pink stripes that run up and down the side of each leg. They hug every inch of my thick hips and thighs like a glove. But what I didn't realize until after looking at these photos, they also climb right up the crack of my big ole' butt. Maybe that's why the guy on a motorcycle nearly slamed into the rearend of a big blue pick-up truck.

Anyways, there's nothing too terribly exciting to share with you about my walk. But I did manage to get the neighbor to snap a few photos of me as a walked away. What do you think, are my pants too tight on my fat ass?

Mardi Bra
A Big Butt Horny Housewife

Farting my guts out on Thanksgiving

2006-11-18T13:29:00.000-08:00

My hubby and I have been married for 18 years. Every morning for 18 years, I wake up, fart loudly, roll over onto my big butt and get up to start my day.

Every morning for 18 years, my husband says, "One of these days Mardi, you're gonna fart your guts out!"

You see, one Thanksgiving morning, my husband is preparing the turkey and gets a crazy idea. Before I got up, my husband quietly peels back the covers and places the turkey innards inside my panties, all the time laughing under his breath.

Well, later that morning, I wake up and go through my morning ritual of making breakfast and packing school lunches. I scream as I go running into the bathroom. My husband laughs, but is concerned after noticing that I've been in the bathroom for 3 hours.

So he runs into the bedroom, and is about to knock on the bathroom door. Just then I open up, pale as a ghost. I said, "You were right, you were right. I did fart my guts out! But by the grace of God and these two fingers I got them back up there again."

Hershey kisess,

Mardi Bra
A Big Butt Horny Housewife

Wanna photograph my naked big butt?

2006-11-16T16:19:00.000-08:00

Nows your chance! Would you like the opportunity to come shoot photos of me with my own equiptment tomorrow?

You must be available 11/17/06 at 9:00am in Las Vegas.

But before I will agree to this I will need to see you on webcam. I want you to get naked and audition for me first. That means you will need to jack off for me first! Then I'll capture photos of you to show my hubby. If we both like what we see, then I'll invite you over for tomorrow. I too have a yahoo webcam too so get out the
lube.

If you are not serious, do NOT waste my time. You will need to respond to me by email first because my chat is only open to members of my website.

BigButt_Mardi
A Big Butt Horny Housewife
http://www.ass4days.com

He hosed me!

2006-11-14T14:24:00.000-08:00

Today started out like any other week day. I got dressed in my grey sweat pants and a grey t-shirt to set out for my morning power walk. Once I got half way into the walk I noticed this man in his front yard wearing a pair of faded blue levis, plaid flannel long sleeve shirt, with a pair of hiking boots. He had short brown uncombed hair and was standing in his front yard watering his bushes and shrubs. Right away he noticed me walking toward his property. I heard him mumble something that sounded like, hello. So I looked him in the eye, smiled and said, "hey, how are ya?"

This is where it get's kind of bizzare. After looking him in the eye, I glanced downward at the steady stream of water coming from his hose. He takes the hose, holding the brass nozzel as if it's his penis and presses it against he groin. Then he waves his hips back and forth like he's either pissing or spurting a steam of wet sticky man cream. The look on my face must have been priceless, I was literally shocked to see this mature guy acting so crazed with hornyness.

To read more of what happend next and to see more photos of what I looked like all wet and hosed, come join me.

Hugs and kisses,

Mardi Bra
A Big Butt Horny Housewife

Our horny Halloween

2006-11-05T09:31:00.000-08:00

I thought you might like to see what you missed if you couldn't come knock on my door this year for a trick or treat. In years past, we would spend hard-earned cash on Halloween props and decorations, only to have them stolen. So this year I made most everything myself. Even the halloween props I made all from recycled materials. So if they are stolen all they is something that started out as trash. The only thing I paid for was candy and paint. Did you wear a costume too?

Here's part of what you missed. Members have accesss to 5 more photos not see here.

I hope you had a horny Halloween,

Mardi Bra
A Big Butt Horny Housewife

Win my Big Butt

2006-11-01T14:51:00.000-08:00

This contest is open to all adults and if you're creativewith computer graphics it's perfect for you! So here's the deal.

I'd like to have you make Mardi Bra wallpaper. Read below formy rules.

1. Contest starts November 1, 2006 and ends on November 15, 2006.

2. Wallpaper must be 1280 x 960 pixels in size and a resolution ofno less than 72.

3. Wallpaper may not contain any copywritten images unless you own the copyrights.

4. There will be two first place prizes and the winners will be determined by a vote from members of my website and yahoo group.

5. The top two winners will receive a free photo set of me in which they direct the action. This is a solo set only of 50 photos.

6. The wallpaper you create of me must include my website addresswww.ass4days.com and my name, Mardi Bra.

7. When you have finished, email your wallpaper to me at: bigbutt_mardi@yahoo.com

Only those who are serious may participate. To get started you will need to email me direct (no instant messages). I will reply back with a set of my naughty photos for you to use to create your wallpaper of me. Each participant will receive the same photos ofme to make this a fair contest.

Good luck to everyone,

Mardi Bra
A Big Butt Horny Housewife

Wife rewards A/C Workers continued

2006-09-28T13:56:00.000-07:00

Okay, I didn't get the continuation of my true sexual adventure posted yesterday as planned, but here it is a day late. Here's an excerpt of what happend the folowing day.

My hubby invites the guys inside for a few minutes to talk before they get to work. My hubby grins at me and quietly says, "honey go offer the guys something cold to drink." I do, and they accept my offer. So I'm off to the kitchen for ice filled glasses and a cold soda. From the kitchen I can hear them talking in the living room, but I have no idea what's being said. By the time I get back into the room they all have their shrits off and they're dropping their work pants to the floor. I was so surpised, my jaw dropped and I softly giggled. They had somehow turned the tables on me, I thought I was gonna surprise them. I was speachless for a moment and then I uttered, "fuck the soda, want me instead?" They all smiled and my hubby said, "yes." The other two guys just looked to my hubby for approval.

The rest is way to x-rated to share in my blog, but I will tell you this much. That day I sure taught my hubby, Sparkey and Scooter how to patch all my holes with their power tools. Not one was left unfilled. (wink wink)

To read this entire true sexual adventure click to join my private club.

Mardi Bra - A Big Butt Horny Housewife

Wife rewards A/C Workers

2006-09-25T15:19:00.001-07:00

You may have read about our Air Conditioner exploding and resluted in a fire recently. Well here's an excerpt of what actually happend after the A/C repair got got here.

What happens next shocked both Sparky and myself. I'm not sure how it happend, but I think I found myself so wrapped up in that mental mind fuck I lost all inhibitions and a sence of reality. The next thing I recall is unzipping his work shorts. Then I reach in and pull out his 7 inch cock, well I thought it was seven inches but he was only semi hard. As I cupped his ballsack in my left hand as I stroked up and down his shaft with my right. I couldn't believe it, his dick grew at least 2 more inches before I wrapped my lips around it.

To read my entire true sexual adventure please join my private club.

Also watch tomorrow for the contuation when Sparky brings back his coworker the following day.

Lots of licks,

Mardi Bra
A Big Butt Horny Housewife

Big Bicycle Booty

2006-09-21T11:11:00.000-07:00

There I was peddling my fat ass off when I hear what sounded like a very large vehicle that had cum up behind me. You just never know about the driver's in Vegas, they're not very cyclist friendly so I get a little nervous so I pull to the far right side of the bike lane. I'm expecting him to pass me, but he just keeps hovering around my backdoor.

I couldn't figure out why that workman driving a big ole' backhoe didn't pass me on the road. Have any ideas?

You can read the rest of my real life adventure and see 5 full size photos if you come join my private club. Just enter my members only diary.

Can I ride your bicycle?

Mardi Bra
A Big Butt Horny Housewife

Mardi's Big Butt webcam show!

2006-09-15T10:27:00.000-07:00

Prior to this weeks cam show I had some troubles with the audio portion of my streaming big butt webcam show. You see, the audio was pointing to the wrong port on my server. The same day only minutes after the show I resolved the audio issue myself. This week, I thought my webcam was working properly until I received an instant message on yahoo from one of my long term members that said he could not access my webcam, sound, or text chat. So I looked into the html on the page and compared that to the IP address of my webcam server. Only then I discovered that my server's IP address had changed unbeknownst to me during a service upgrade earlier in the week. Well, I fixed that problem too. I have since tested everything and my streaming webcam with audio is now running as smooth as my fat ass.

Here's a capture of what you may have missed last week.

To check my webcam schedule, click here.
Oh, I almost forgot. I have found a way to replay my live cam shows for those who can not attend. I'll let you know as soon as I have that up and running.

Now show my ass some love,

Mardi Bra
A Big Butt Horny Housewife
www.ass4days.com

My big butt needs your hand!

2006-08-23T16:49:00.000-07:00

Hi guys,

I swear, if I didn't have bad luck. . .I'd have no luck at all. Just the other night the compressor on our central air conditioning unit exploded at 11:00pm. We even had to have the fire department out with me in nothing but a skimpy nighty and barefeet. If you are a member of my ass4days website, read about it in my dairy.

Anyways, so here I sit sweating my ass off at 105 degrees with NO air conditioning! With my 2 recent emergency eye surgeries and still 2 more to come, we've got only a couple hundred bucks left in the bank.

Today I had the A/C guy out and since I was so nice to him he didn't even charge me the standard service fee, $92.00 . But the bill to replace the the compressor and freon is nearly $1700 dollars.

So here's where you come in. I am NOT asking for charity, I would never do that! I normally I never sell anual memberships. But for one week only I am selling 15 annual membership for $100 dollars each. At my regular monthly price, you save over $91 bucks! To get this deal you must pay by: 8/30/06. Please email me at: bigbutt_mardi@yahoo.com

My loss is your gain,

BigButt_Mardi
http://www.ass4days.com

Oh Mr. Fireman!

2006-08-22T09:23:00.000-07:00

The fire department arrives in the big shiney red firetruck with lights flashing, but no sirens. Out of the firetruck steps 4 good looking firemen, or should I say firefighters to be politically correct. You may already know about my weakness for men in uniform and I can hardly contain my excitement. There I stand barefooted, in the moist grass wearing nothing but a skimpy nighty and firemen all around. My husband though quicker than I, and grabbed a pair of shorts and t-shirt before walking out of the house. The firefighters pulled out an extra long ladder, extended it, and climbed upon the roof. All the while I'm fantasizing that they're climbing all over my naked body.

To read my entire true story, please come join me in my private club.

Mardi Bra
A Big Butt Horny Housewife

Oh no, not again!

2006-07-28T21:51:00.000-07:00

Today I had a one month follow-up after my eye surgery. Unfortunately, I received bad news. It turns out that the bottom half of my retina has now partially detached itself. From what the doctor tells me, because I'm younger than most who have this type of surgery I will form scar tissue faster. There also no real way to predict where it will form. Then the scar tissue put pressure on my retina and pulled it loose. This means I need another surgery this comming Monday.

This means I will be back in the face-down ass-up position again for another seven days. I was in so much pain from being in this position last month it brought me to tears. Extreme pain in my back, neck, shoulders and forearms mostly. Then there were the migranes, good gosh! I'd never had one in my life until then. Since I had more time to prepare for my surgery than last month, I thought there had to be a better way to make it through the recovery process this time. So the first place I turned was to the internet.

I found a company that rents medical supplies just for this purpose. To see photos of what I'll be using go to www.vitrectomy.com

If you would like to send me a get well wish or a monetary donation, my mailg address is: Tattach Designs, PO Box 26473. Las Vegas NV 89126.

I'll be back online after my 7 days is up... wish me well.

Mardi Bra
A Big Butt Horny Housewife

I want your cock!

2006-07-27T14:45:00.000-07:00

Hi guys,

Well this is not just for the guys, if you have a man at home and you're willing to share him with me this applies to you too.

I want to side as many rock hard cocks into my juicy wet holes as I can. I don't mean shove a few in the same hole, OMG that would split me in two. But I have three sweet spots just waiting for attention. Won't you fill at least one up for me?

Here's my thought. Make a mold of your penis to create and exact replica for me, ship it to me and when it arrives I'll give it all the attention it deserves. Heck, I'll even video tape and photograph my naughty encounter with your cock. I'll then email you or file transfer the pics and video just for you. If you're a member of my www.ass4days.com website you'll get to see pics and video of everyone I fuck and suck.

The best casting supplies for the price I could find is here below. You get 3 chances to make a cast, different skin tones and some have vibrators. Plus you can cast your balls and cock all at the same time. www.createamate.com Don't worry, no pop-ups or spam. No, I don't get a percentage if you buy from them. You can purchase a kit anyplace.

Please contact me by email or instant message. Serious inquires only, no jack-offs. I will then provide you with my shipping address. This is totally free, you just bare the expense of the kit and shipping it to me.

Mardi Bra
A Big Butt Horny Housewife

My fat ass is beat!

2006-07-25T11:16:00.000-07:00

Today I feel tired and worn out. The kids and I have been working ourselves to death shoveling landscaping rock most of the morning. When it's 95 degrees at 8:00 a.m. it's even more difficult. With this hot weather and hard labor, my fat ass is friggin' beat! I'm not sure what the neighbors thought when they saw me sprawled out in a pile of rocks in the front yard. What would you think if you saw me face-down ass-up spread eagle for everyone to see?

Don't you have a better way to wear my ass out?

Mardi Bra
A Big Butt Horny Housewife
www.ass4days.com

After the Surgery

2006-07-01T11:23:00.000-07:00

It's been 10 extremely long days since I was diagnosed with a detached retnia. The doctors said I lost more than half the vision in my right eye and they'd have to do emergency surgery. As I lay there on the operating table, before the anesthesia kicked in, I told God (or whomever may be listening) that I have so much to live for and was not ready to pass on. Thanks to all of you who sent me your positive thoughts, I'm here today to type this message.

Now, about my recovery. Only mere seconds after I became conscious in the hospital recovery room, they placed me face-down ass-up. I can hear you thinking now, "Mardi in a hospital gown ass-up on the recovery bed with her big white butt exposed, whoohoo." To be honest, it did cross my mind to ask one of the nurses or doctor's snap a couple of photos, but in the haste of things, I forgot the camera.

To read more about my recovery, see my naughty photos and x-rated video clips. . . come join my member's only side. Your membership fee's will be put to good use, to help pay for my current and future medical expences.

Hugs and kisses,

Mardi Bra
A Big Butt Horny Housewife